Part Of Your World
by Lady Dudley
Summary: The events at Bill's mansion and outside the Moon Goddess Emporium cause Pam to question her place at Eric's side.
1. Prologue: At Bill's

**A/N: After writing "Come What May" I couldn't help myself, I had to let Pam have a go at Eric again for being such a...jerk in the last season. Thus this idea came to mind, some of it is based on a theory I proposed towards the end of "Enjoy The Silence" and contains some borrowed dialogue from _America's Sweethearts_ to flesh it out. It was also partially inspired by the *cough*Disney movies*cough* quoted in the next chapter. The lyrics quoted at the beginning of this chapter (and used in the next) are from the original version of "Part Of Your World" from _The Little Mermaid_, the lyrics quoted at the start of subsequent chapters are from Taylor Swift's "The Other Side Of The Door."  
Anyways, I hope you enjoy my latest S4 rant :)**

**Dedication: For my dear Fangtasic Fanatic, with sincere thanks for all your help with this :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
**

**Prologue  
**

_...  
I'd give my life  
I'd sell my soul  
'Cause I can feel I'll never be whole  
But I can see  
I'll never be  
Part of your world  
_...

He was back.

She held that precious knowledge close to her heart as she rushed to Bill's mansion to see him.

Along the way she shook off her fears about why he hadn't called her to him: it didn't matter. Now that he was whole again, everything would be all right.

She took the stairs to Bill's front door two at a time and was about to open the door, when Sookie's voice came from inside.

"You gave yourself to me _completely_," she said, her tone holding a challenging note that Pam wasn't accustomed to hearing from her.

"Yes I did," came Eric's voice, "I love you."

Pam closed her eyes at his words, feeling the world shift underneath her feet.

It couldn't be true…not him, not her Eric.

She was so distressed that she almost missed it as Sookie spoke again: "You don't mean that."

"I saw you, Sookie, when I was first cursed," he told her, his voice low with conviction, "you were wearing a green dress and dancing in the moonlight."

Pam's eyes flew open.

"It was like you were drawing me to you," he continued, "I knew that I had to be with you, that I couldn't live without you. You were _meant_ to be mine." He paused, "And then there you were."

Pam didn't wait to hear what Sookie had to say in response to this revelation; wrenching the front door open, she stalked into Bill's mansion.

Eric looked up at her and a flicker of guilt crossed his features as he rose to meet her.

"Pam," was all he said as he hugged her.

She closed her eyes, willing away the pain and focusing instead on how good it was to have him back. "I missed you," she whispered as they broke apart.

She glanced passed him to where Sookie was still sitting on the couch, "Why didn't you summon me the second you were free?" she asked, hating the pitiful tone that crept into her voice but she had to know.

Eric didn't look at her and she followed his gaze back to Sookie; her expression hardened.

"We'll talk about it later," he said finally, kissing her forehead.

"Fine," she replied, if he noticed the shortness of her tone he ignored it and she watched him cross to the other side of the room

Pam looked over at Sookie: oh, they would talk all right.


	2. Chapter 1: After the Emporium

_**Part Of Your World**_

…  
_In the heat of the fight I walked away  
Ignoring words that you were saying  
Trying to make me stay  
I said, 'This time I've had enough'  
And you've called a hundred times  
But I'm not picking up  
Cause I'm so mad I might tell you that it's over  
But if you look a little closer_

_Me and my stupid pride are sitting here alone  
Going through the photographs, staring at the phone  
I keep going back over things we both said  
And I remember the slamming door and all the things that I misread  
So babe if you know everything, tell me why you couldn't see  
When I left I wanted you to chase after me_  
…

Eric flinched as the front door made a noise as he entered the house, he reminded himself that he wasn't afraid of his reception from Pam. Despite how guilty he might feel after the way he had treated her back at the Moon Goddess Emporium, she had still disobeyed him.

He paused at the bottom of the stairs, there was no sign or sound of Pam, all he could hear was some of the dialogue from the movie she was watching.

"_Who would ever hurt a little trick like you?"  
"Trick? That reminds me: who is Trixie? And Lulu? And Fifi? And Rosita-Chiquita-Woo-Woo-Whatever her name is?"_

Eric grimaced in spite of himself and slipped quietly into his downstairs office, perhaps it would be best to let Pam cool off a little before he confronted her.

Engrossed in catching up on some of his paperwork, Eric didn't pay attention to any of the sounds coming from Pam's room. Until he began to hear the same set of dialogue over and over again:

"_I owe my life to you my darling"  
"I couldn't have lived without you Robin"_

Followed by a faint _bzzt_ as Pam rewound the scene before replaying it:

"_I owe my life to you my darling"  
"I couldn't have lived without you Robin"_

This pattern repeated itself a few times and Eric was just about to leave his office to speak to her about it, when Pam switched the movie off.

Relieved, Eric returned to his paperwork, only to have his concentration broken once again by the sound of Pam throwing things around her room.

Eric had had enough and, slamming his pen down, left his office.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs the noises from Pam's room stopped as abruptly as they had begun and were replaced by music.

_What would I give to live where you are?  
What would I pay to stay here beside you?  
What would I do to see you smiling at me?_

Undeterred, Eric began to climb the stairs up to her room.

_Now there's a dream  
Now there's a goal  
Now there's a need I'll never control  
I won't get free  
Till I can be  
Part of your world_

Her door was slightly ajar and he could see her moping on her bed, surrounded by upturned chairs and tables. Some of the feathers from her pillows were still slowly floating around the room.

Some of his guilt over how he had treated her resurfaced as he took in her almost pitiful demeanour.

_What would I give if I could live outta these waters?  
What would I pay to spend a day holding your hand?  
I'd give my life  
I'd sell my soul  
'Cause I can feel I'll never be whole  
But I can see  
I'll never be  
Part of your world_

As the song came to close Pam caught sight of him hovering by her door and, much to his shock, threw a vase at him.

Eric had just enough time to note that it was one that he had given her before it shattered against the door.

He deemed her action to be the last straw and strode angrily into her room, all sense of guilt forgotten.

"How can I keep out of your sight if you're going to spy on me?" she demanded angrily before he could even open his mouth.

Eric took a calming breath, "I regret some of the things I said to you this evening Pamela," he told her through his fangs in as even tone as he could muster.

"Some!"

"You could have killed her," he reminded her sternly.

"And what would you have done if I did? Threaten to kill me? Send me away?" she taunted.

Eric snarled at her and, although he felt her flicker of fear, she didn't back down.

"Short of actually killing me, Eric, there's very little you can do to me now," she continued, standing up and striding towards him. "I'm surprised you even came here tonight, shouldn't you be playing with your fairy princess?" she asked, stopping just short of his personal space with her hands on her hips.

"She has rejected me," he said, his voice low and dangerous.

Pam snorted, "Good for her, finally someone's beaten you to the punch."

"I have not rejected you Pam," he growled, ignoring her barb about Sookie.

"Of course not, how silly of me to confuse you choosing a _human_ over me before banishing me from your sight as rejection," she spat.

"Pam-"

"Save it," she snapped, cutting him off, "I'm not in the mood for any half-baked apologies or explanations. So why don't you just f*ck off and leave me alone?"

This time Eric's growl of warning made her take a step back, although she maintained her defiant expression. "You have already tested my limits tonight, Pam, do not push them any further," he warned her.

"Go to hell."

Those three words were enough to make Eric's tenuous control over his anger snap and, emitting a roar of fury, he pinned Pam down on the bed.

Pam snarled up at him and bared her fangs, "Let me go, Eric," she growled, fighting against his hold.

"Not until you listen," he snarled back, tightening his hold on her. "I admit I was a-"

"Selfish bastard," Pam supplied and he narrowed his eyes.

"Not exactly what I was going for, but it will suffice," he conceded before continuing with his original speech: "and I regret what happened tonight." Pam snorted, "You mean more to me than you could ever imagine," he continued, ignoring her interruption, "I should never have said those things to you. I am sorry."

Pam regarded him for a long moment, "That's it? You threaten to kill me – and actually _mean_ it – and all you can say is you're 'sorry'?" she asked incredulously.

"I'm not proud of what I've done, Pam," he told her, "but I refuse to believe this is the end for us."

"Oh, this isn't the end for us Eric," she assured him, Eric relaxed slightly, missing the flinty tone behind her words. "The end came a _long_ time ago when Bo Peep first walked into our lives," she continued, glaring up at him.

Eric looked down at her in shock and, releasing her, took a couple of steps back; allowing her to stand. After a long moment he opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off.

"When you were just trying to take her away from Bill Compton I could handle it, hell, I even _approved_. But when she started to become more than just a diversion, we were over," she told him flatly. "At some point you crossed the line and she became more important to you than anything or any_one_ else in your life," she crossed her arms and pinned him with a hard stare, "I play second fiddle to no one, least of all her."

It was then that Eric noted the bags stacked neatly by her dresser, "You're leaving?" he asked, his tone somewhere between bewilderment and anger.

"Yes."

"You can't just leave," he protested.

"I think you'll find that I can and I will."

Eric regarded her for a long moment, weighing his options: he could order her to stay, but that would only make a bad situation worse. She was right: there was nothing he could do to stop her.

She read the resignation on his face and started to pick up her bags. She made it halfway to the door before she suddenly stopped and turned to face him. "Oh, one last thing, do you remember that woman you spoke about – the one dancing in the moonlight wearing a green dress?" she demanded bitterly.

Eric grimaced as he remembered her walking in on him telling Sookie about a vision he had the moment his amnesia struck. He opened his mouth to defend himself, but once again she continued before he could speak.

"You know that woman you knew was meant for you, that you couldn't _possibly_ live without?"

He nodded mutely as she invaded his personal space, her eyes blazing, and with three words stripped him to the bone: "That was me."

Eric watched, dumbstruck, as she stalked from the room.

...

**A/N: The two movies quoted in this chapter are Disney's _Lady and the Tramp_ and Disney's _Robin Hood_ respectively.**


	3. Chapter 2: You Broke My Car

…  
_And I'll scream out the window  
I can't even look at you  
I don't need you but I do, I do, I do  
I say, "There's nothing you can say to make this right  
I mean it, I mean it"  
What I mean is_

_I said, "Leave," but baby all I want is you_  
_To stand outside my window throwing pebbles_  
_Screaming, 'I'm in love with you'_  
_Wait there in the pouring rain, come back for more_  
_And don't you leave cause I know_  
_All I need is on the other side of the door_  
…

Eric stared dumbly after Pam, now in complete shock as all of the pieces finally fell into place.

Unbidden the image of the woman in a green dress dancing in the moonlight and laughing came into his mind; watching her brought about the same strange mixture of desire and homecoming it had when his amnesia had struck.

This time, however, he was able to recognise both her and her surroundings – she wasn't Sookie Stackhouse: she was Pamela Swynford de Beaufort, moments before he made her his child.

The sound of the front door slamming brought him back to his senses: what had he done?

He glanced towards the window when he heard the low rumble of a car engine: she was leaving and he hadn't even fought for her to stay.

Suddenly nothing was more important than stopping her by any means necessary, which was how he ended up throwing himself out of the window.

He landed with a loud thud on the bonnet of her car.

She stopped the car in almost the same instant and leapt out from behind the wheel, "Are you f*cking _insane_?" she demanded, slamming the car door and circling around to the front of the car. "What did you think you were doing?"

"Did you really think I could just let you go?" he replied, climbing stiffly off the front of her car.

"You broke my car," she said flatly, ignoring his comment as she regarded the Eric-shaped dent in her bonnet.

"I'm fine, by the way," he said drily.

Pam crossed her arms, "What do you want from me Eric?"

"Stay," he said simply.

Pam raised her eyebrows, but otherwise made no response.

"After everything that has happened I can't let you go, not like this," he continued.

"I have no reason to stay."

"You have _every_ reason, you are **mine**," he told her, "I will not order you to remain here, but your place is at my side."

Pam took a step back towards the car, "I'm not convinced there'd be enough room with Sookie and all," she drawled.

"Forget Sookie-"

"Why should I? You obviously can't," she snapped.

"I didn't remember her any more than I remembered you when I was cursed," he told her with forced calm, "she found me first that's all."

"Oh, so now it's my fault?"

Eric resisted the urge to strangle her, "That is _not_ what I meant."

"Then what _do_ you mean, Eric?" she demanded, "Unlike your precious _Sookie_," she continued, spitting out the name as though it tasted bad, "I'm not a f*cking mind reader!"

"I'm trying to tell you that I love you," he told her in a low, dangerous tone, moving to tower over her.

Pam glared up at him, "You told Sookie the same thing only a few hours ago, why should I believe you?"

"Because I have never lied to you," he told her seriously, Pam raised an eyebrow. Eric suppressed a sigh, "Then you should believe me because I have loved many people in my time, but I will always love you the most."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? You still love her but you love me more? It didn't look that way to me," she said stubbornly, stepping away from him and opening the car door.

"Damn it Pam! Why can't you get it into your thick head that I am _not_ going to let you leave?" he roared, slamming the car door shut so hard that the whole car rocked from the impact.

"Because you were so willing only a few minutes ago to just let me walk out!" she screamed back at him, "You would fight for Sookie but you wouldn't fight for me – that has to mean something!" she added, beating his chest with her fists as he came towards her.

Eric caught her wrists and she flailed against his hold, tears streaming freely down her cheeks. "Damn it Eric, just let me go," she whispered hoarsely as she stopped struggling.

"All right," he said quietly, still keeping his almost painful hold on her wrists, "I'll let you go, but only if you can look me in the eye and tell me that is what you really want."

Pam lifted her chin in a show of defiance, slightly marred by the bloody tears that stained her cheeks, "You really are a selfish bastard," she muttered.

Eric gave her a little shake, "Tell me," he ordered.

"I can't do that," she grumbled, "you know I can't."

"Then _stay_," he insisted, loosening his hold on her wrists slightly.

"To watch you with Sookie?" she spat, "I don't f*cking think so."

"No. To turn the clock back," he said calmly, absently rubbing soothing circles on her wrists, "we can stay here or go wherever you want. _Anything_ – but I am not going to lose you, Pamela, not like this. Not ever."

"And Sookie?" she asked in a small voice.

"I'm sure Bill Compton will appreciate having her to himself again," he said wryly.

"And you?"

"I would never be happy without you."

"You spin a pretty tale, Mr. Northman," she said after a long moment.

"I will not let you go," he repeated.

Pam suppressed a smirk, "So you have said."

Eric noted the ghost of a smile and, for the first time since regaining his memories, felt hope.

"Then you will stay?"

Pam cocked her head to the side, "It would seem that I have no other option."

Sensing that it was still too soon to gather her in his arms, Eric contented himself with a broad smile, "Well, I'll go get your bags then," he said easily, dropping her wrists and moving to do so.

Pam watched him out of the corner of her eye as she wiped the tears from her face.

Perhaps this wasn't the end after all.


	4. Epilogue: Next Time

…_  
With your face and the beautiful eyes  
And the conversation with the little white lies  
And the faded picture of a beautiful night  
You carry me from your car to the stairs  
And I broke down crying, was she worth this mess?  
After everything and that little black dress  
After everything I must confess, I need you_  
…

"Now, you see this part here?" Pam said the next evening, pointing to the TV screen, "_This_ is what you should have said the other night," she informed him watching as the cartoon fox portraying Robin Hood rushed over to the vixen depicting Maid Marian.

"_I owe my life to you, my darling," Robin said, taking her hands and drawing her to him.  
"I couldn't have lived without you Robin," Marian replied, resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes._

Eric rolled his eyes as he inched his arm from its position along the back of the couch closer to her shoulders. "I've never called you 'darling,'" he retorted, causing Pam to roll her eyes.

"You're missing the point," she replied.

"I know what you mean," he assured her, attempting to let his arm slip casually around her shoulders.

"Oh very smooth," she complimented him sarcastically as he pulled her a little closer to him.

"I try," he replied, relieved to have met no resistance. He schooled his features into a sombre expression, "And I promise to quote Disney movies the next time we're in a life threatening situation," he added, earning himself an elbow in the ribs.

"See that you do," she mumbled, crossing her arms and settling back against the couch to watch the rest of the movie.

Eric regarded her for a long moment before returning his attention back to the movie.

He shook his head slightly as he watched a group of Rhinos dressed as medieval knights chase a Chicken in a dress across the screen; thus (in his opinion) proving that he really would do anything for the woman sitting beside him.

He tightened his hold on her slightly, reassuring himself that she really was there: he was only glad he had realised that before it was too late.


End file.
